Feeling Discouraged Recently

I think most people who never know it by looking at me or reading most of what I post but I have been getting very discouraged recently with the benefit I am putting together. I have been having a lot of stress related issue in my health and have been having lots of benefit related nightmares, including not getting any donations, not having any volunteers to help and just me running around and then the worst not having anyone show up. It is very rough on me since I am the only one working on this benefit. It is my baby, I designed it, I have evolved it, and it is my responsibility. However recently it has come to my attention that I have never really explained how this whole benefit came into existence. This benefit came into existence because I wanted a way to get my website out to as many young adults as I could in case they needed it in the future and also to make sure that cancer survivors both near and far from me could know it was available to them. From there, with the help of my friend Erin, I started brainstorming ideas and in the end I decided to do a Silent Auction Awareness night where I would pass out awareness information. Well I knew I wanted to donate a portion of the money to a charity but I had 4 of them that I thought equally do a great job in the area of young adults, so I picked those four to be on the list. Now, as the event grew and I started soliciting donations I realized that people are not comfortable with the money going to my website, even though I ask for no money at all for the benefits of my website, and there is no membership or signing up of any kind. Anyone can come and go as they please. So, in the process of researching I decided it might be best to look into being a nonprofit because I am not making any money off my site and that way I could keep gathering information and resources for survivors and not have to worry about people’s reluctance to donate. Well as I did more research I got discouraged that I could not be a nonprofit because there are so many rules and I do not meet all the criteria, as I delved further though I think that I can and I am certainly going to look into it because I think it may be the best thing for my website to be. Obviously I cannot just have a free to use website, I must be registered in order to be worth anything. What few people realize is that before the benefit I worked countless hours on my website and the second reason for the benefit was to get money to get my website fixed in the areas I cannot do myself. I am not a web designer, I have very minor experience in programming and coding for websites and yet I built the whole website but I have big plans to make it more accessible and cover more areas but I cannot do it by myself and I cannot get anyone to help me for free so I need money, and I don’t have it by myself. So, there it is in plain English if you were curious, this benefit started out as a way to 1.) Raise awareness for my website and 2.) to raise funds to have a professional help me add and fix areas of said website. In the past 3 months though it has evolved into being something much more than my website and even though 60% of the funds will still go to my website, I am the only individual (besides Sharlene) to donate to the benefit, and I have donated TONS of stuff, both under the studio name and the website name. So, by the time the benefit is over, I will more than likely break even on the benefit. Which is fine, but I should not feel bad for giving only 40% to charity and I do, and that is not fair. I have been busting my ass on this benefit, I think about it nonstop, I design, plan, call and approach donors all day long. There is not a single day where I am not trying to make this benefit a huge success and where am I spending the most time you might ask, the charity baskets that’s where and those are 100% going to each charity, so I get NOTHING from them. I repeat NOTHING! I am entering contests out the whazoo to try and win stuff for the benefit, I am applying for Spirit Jumps, I am writing to celebrities, making wish lists and gift registries, bank accounts and press releases and yet I feel like every time I get a few steps ahead I end up 10 steps back. It is so frustrating to feel like I am not doing a good enough job when I am giving everything I got. It is very, very discouraging. So there it is in a nutshell, I feel like I am wasting my time. I should be building a half way decent portfolio and finding a job and instead I am pouring my heart and soul into something that will more than likely fail. Depressing really if you think about it. Oh well, back to work I suppose but first an oatmeal bath for these full body hives I am suffering from! :(

My first ever blog through MS Word, Natural Skin Shop Suggestion

So, I have been meaning to update this silly blog more often than I do and so I decided that if I set it up to my Word software then I will have no excuse as I am on Word almost every day, they only way it could get more easy is if I could link it up to my Facebook or my Droid (now that would be AWESOME!). Lots of big things going on in my life recently. Trying hard to find a job in the gaming world. I have been doing lighting and camera work on my scenes and they seem to be turning out quite well. I even purchased a website to send potential jobs to so they can see it without having to hold a hardcopy demo reel in their hands. More convenient is always the best way. The only problem I am running into is the 360 views of the scene are too long, but when you watch them they don't seem like they are too long, so I did a walkthrough of my living room to sort of live action storyboard my most recent animation and it took 33 seconds. Well all of my videos are ending up being about 30 seconds and since a demo reel should be between 2 and 3 minutes I am going to have a hard time. I am either going to have to narrow them down or cut them. Well I will be posting them to my website so everyone to see and maybe give some feedback, otherwise they are all on my Facebook right now, so friend me and check them out. J Had my Dr. Appointment on the 13^th and everything is fine. I worry a lot about finding a job because I know that jobs Google search names and the first thing that comes up for me is about cancer and legally it isn't supposed to matter but subconsciously it does. So, everyone think happy thoughts for me to get a good job soon! ^_^ The benefit is going great and if you haven't checked out the web page please do: http://www.jettysbrainbook.com/benefit.html. It has lots of ways you can be a huge help! I have been working so much on it that I am having stress related migraines! However, I know it is going to be great so it will all be worth it in the end. We were supposed to go on vacation to check out job sites but the friend who watches our house is MIA, I hope he is ok. So, until he turns back up we cannot go anywhere L I've been pretty involved in trying to win things for the benefit, although I have been sick it seems to be a good way for me to still participate in fundraising. One great place I have been visiting and participating in is the Natural Skin Shop's Blogger Wars (if anyone is interested in entering it is here: http://naturalskinshop.blogspot.com/p/blogger-war-contest_6396.html) I have been to the website several times since I first became a fan on Face book and my person favorite post was about dark circles under the eyes. Since I am going to include this as a submission here is the legal part "Disclosure: By writing this post I am qualified to win products and/or cash prize. All views and opinions with regard to the products or company itself are my own and were not influenced, nor reviewed, by the company prior to posting." I know that seems weird but it is necessary just in case I say something un flattering, like Kevin Smith on the Chasing Amy extras *Check it out if you don't know what I mean, he has an opinion on DVDs that he shares :-P* Now, I know I won't win simply because I only have 2 followers and no one really reads my stuff but it is my own fault since I never update, but I want to enter anyway. For the benefit and because I think this website could be a big help to cancer survivors. When I was sick I had serious issues with my skin, for the first time in my life. I never really broke out in high school, they only time I came close was small ones when I worked at KFC because my face was so disgusting all the time. It was hard my face was always dry and my lips were always cracking. I used more chap stick than an Olympic skier. I also used very pricey Oil of Olay lotion on my face because it hurt so badly. It was rough. When your hair is falling out and you are feeling down having nice skin can be a big plus in a sea of negatives. The tips and tricks are my personal favorites, easy ways to tackles some of life's more prevalent problems (puffy eyes and dark circles for me! :-P) http://www.naturalskinshop.com/Ginger_s_Tips_Tricks_s/513.html The products are naturally wonderful and they offer a wide variety of products for any need. There store can be found here if you have a specific need you would like to check on: http://www.naturalskinshop.com/ Plus if you sign up with your email you get 15% off your first order! I hope you will all check it out and I promise to write on here more often. J Love Love Jettychan