My Awesomely Epic Benefit for those who dont know

So, for those of you who do not know the benefit was a complete and utter failure from what I wanted it to be. I worked for 6 months on this event, I stuffed bags, made baskets, baked cupcakes and brownies, designed web pages and advertisements. Basically I did everything I could think of to make this event happen and I only found support from a handful of people along the way and for that I am eternally grateful. I was surprised how many truly honorable people asked for my address to send me a check donation and then I never got it. I think perhaps the post office lost quite a few of my things. But that is not the point. The point is that the benefit was a lot like my wedding. I worked so very hard on it and then other people and circumstances fucked it up for me, but like my wedding I am very glad I did it. It is still hard for me to believe that the benefit is over and that I used $5000 and only made around $500. I had 13 paying people come to the event and ended up giving away the 50 pizzas I ordered. Almost all of the 52 baskets I made ended up selling for the opening cost of $20 or not selling at all (or I bid on them to get them started and ended up winning them.) You could have gotten $100s of stuff for $20 had anyone other than my sister bid online or shown up. However that too is not the point of this little typing escapade. I wanted to write out for myself about the benefit because I know that not many people pay attention to my posts, or my groups or messages. I know most people will not read this note but at least it is out there in case someone a few weeks down the line goes, oh yeah! I wonder how that benefit thingy went. Now they will know, it failed. So, many people keep telling me, it is not a failure and if I reached one person it was a success, which would be true if I had had one single young adult show up. Alas I did not. There is also another point to this note and that is that after spending an awesome day with Sachiko yesterday jus playing and having fun for once. I realized that I have not spent time having real no benefit thoughts attached fun in over 6 months. I need to work on my life for a while because if it was not for the stupid benefit I would be moved by now and out working a job I actually like. BUT I know that it is not in me to give up and so do all of you if you know me at all. So, I have already decided I am still going to accomplish all I wanted from the benefit (save 4 fat checks for the charities, instead I will have to give 4 super small ones but I know they will still appreciate them), and I am going to start it right away. What I am going to do is do my own fundraising for the goal of my benefit. SO, if you did not come to the event or did not bid and you feel bad about it, the best way to make it up to me is to work out how to work with me through my studio to make your Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanza gifts or event Birthday gifts. Or I can make you a custom Chemo pet, I now make them in the shape of animals or some objects too. So, IF you feel any of the above, please think about helping me with this current fundraiser. However, since I am no longer delusional, I do know that most of my friends on here will not read the note and those who do will more than likely not be able to help, but I am just very proud of me for at least attempting to still accomplish my dreams and not moping around in my I wasted $5000 on a stupid event no one cared about blues. So, for me I am already awesome. I am just awesome with no way of accomplishing my dream without the help of others, which means in laymen’s terms I am screwed.

Feeling Discouraged Recently

I think most people who never know it by looking at me or reading most of what I post but I have been getting very discouraged recently with the benefit I am putting together. I have been having a lot of stress related issue in my health and have been having lots of benefit related nightmares, including not getting any donations, not having any volunteers to help and just me running around and then the worst not having anyone show up. It is very rough on me since I am the only one working on this benefit. It is my baby, I designed it, I have evolved it, and it is my responsibility. However recently it has come to my attention that I have never really explained how this whole benefit came into existence. This benefit came into existence because I wanted a way to get my website out to as many young adults as I could in case they needed it in the future and also to make sure that cancer survivors both near and far from me could know it was available to them. From there, with the help of my friend Erin, I started brainstorming ideas and in the end I decided to do a Silent Auction Awareness night where I would pass out awareness information. Well I knew I wanted to donate a portion of the money to a charity but I had 4 of them that I thought equally do a great job in the area of young adults, so I picked those four to be on the list. Now, as the event grew and I started soliciting donations I realized that people are not comfortable with the money going to my website, even though I ask for no money at all for the benefits of my website, and there is no membership or signing up of any kind. Anyone can come and go as they please. So, in the process of researching I decided it might be best to look into being a nonprofit because I am not making any money off my site and that way I could keep gathering information and resources for survivors and not have to worry about people’s reluctance to donate. Well as I did more research I got discouraged that I could not be a nonprofit because there are so many rules and I do not meet all the criteria, as I delved further though I think that I can and I am certainly going to look into it because I think it may be the best thing for my website to be. Obviously I cannot just have a free to use website, I must be registered in order to be worth anything. What few people realize is that before the benefit I worked countless hours on my website and the second reason for the benefit was to get money to get my website fixed in the areas I cannot do myself. I am not a web designer, I have very minor experience in programming and coding for websites and yet I built the whole website but I have big plans to make it more accessible and cover more areas but I cannot do it by myself and I cannot get anyone to help me for free so I need money, and I don’t have it by myself. So, there it is in plain English if you were curious, this benefit started out as a way to 1.) Raise awareness for my website and 2.) to raise funds to have a professional help me add and fix areas of said website. In the past 3 months though it has evolved into being something much more than my website and even though 60% of the funds will still go to my website, I am the only individual (besides Sharlene) to donate to the benefit, and I have donated TONS of stuff, both under the studio name and the website name. So, by the time the benefit is over, I will more than likely break even on the benefit. Which is fine, but I should not feel bad for giving only 40% to charity and I do, and that is not fair. I have been busting my ass on this benefit, I think about it nonstop, I design, plan, call and approach donors all day long. There is not a single day where I am not trying to make this benefit a huge success and where am I spending the most time you might ask, the charity baskets that’s where and those are 100% going to each charity, so I get NOTHING from them. I repeat NOTHING! I am entering contests out the whazoo to try and win stuff for the benefit, I am applying for Spirit Jumps, I am writing to celebrities, making wish lists and gift registries, bank accounts and press releases and yet I feel like every time I get a few steps ahead I end up 10 steps back. It is so frustrating to feel like I am not doing a good enough job when I am giving everything I got. It is very, very discouraging. So there it is in a nutshell, I feel like I am wasting my time. I should be building a half way decent portfolio and finding a job and instead I am pouring my heart and soul into something that will more than likely fail. Depressing really if you think about it. Oh well, back to work I suppose but first an oatmeal bath for these full body hives I am suffering from! :(

My first ever blog through MS Word, Natural Skin Shop Suggestion

So, I have been meaning to update this silly blog more often than I do and so I decided that if I set it up to my Word software then I will have no excuse as I am on Word almost every day, they only way it could get more easy is if I could link it up to my Facebook or my Droid (now that would be AWESOME!). Lots of big things going on in my life recently. Trying hard to find a job in the gaming world. I have been doing lighting and camera work on my scenes and they seem to be turning out quite well. I even purchased a website to send potential jobs to so they can see it without having to hold a hardcopy demo reel in their hands. More convenient is always the best way. The only problem I am running into is the 360 views of the scene are too long, but when you watch them they don't seem like they are too long, so I did a walkthrough of my living room to sort of live action storyboard my most recent animation and it took 33 seconds. Well all of my videos are ending up being about 30 seconds and since a demo reel should be between 2 and 3 minutes I am going to have a hard time. I am either going to have to narrow them down or cut them. Well I will be posting them to my website so everyone to see and maybe give some feedback, otherwise they are all on my Facebook right now, so friend me and check them out. J Had my Dr. Appointment on the 13^th and everything is fine. I worry a lot about finding a job because I know that jobs Google search names and the first thing that comes up for me is about cancer and legally it isn't supposed to matter but subconsciously it does. So, everyone think happy thoughts for me to get a good job soon! ^_^ The benefit is going great and if you haven't checked out the web page please do: http://www.jettysbrainbook.com/benefit.html. It has lots of ways you can be a huge help! I have been working so much on it that I am having stress related migraines! However, I know it is going to be great so it will all be worth it in the end. We were supposed to go on vacation to check out job sites but the friend who watches our house is MIA, I hope he is ok. So, until he turns back up we cannot go anywhere L I've been pretty involved in trying to win things for the benefit, although I have been sick it seems to be a good way for me to still participate in fundraising. One great place I have been visiting and participating in is the Natural Skin Shop's Blogger Wars (if anyone is interested in entering it is here: http://naturalskinshop.blogspot.com/p/blogger-war-contest_6396.html) I have been to the website several times since I first became a fan on Face book and my person favorite post was about dark circles under the eyes. Since I am going to include this as a submission here is the legal part "Disclosure: By writing this post I am qualified to win products and/or cash prize. All views and opinions with regard to the products or company itself are my own and were not influenced, nor reviewed, by the company prior to posting." I know that seems weird but it is necessary just in case I say something un flattering, like Kevin Smith on the Chasing Amy extras *Check it out if you don't know what I mean, he has an opinion on DVDs that he shares :-P* Now, I know I won't win simply because I only have 2 followers and no one really reads my stuff but it is my own fault since I never update, but I want to enter anyway. For the benefit and because I think this website could be a big help to cancer survivors. When I was sick I had serious issues with my skin, for the first time in my life. I never really broke out in high school, they only time I came close was small ones when I worked at KFC because my face was so disgusting all the time. It was hard my face was always dry and my lips were always cracking. I used more chap stick than an Olympic skier. I also used very pricey Oil of Olay lotion on my face because it hurt so badly. It was rough. When your hair is falling out and you are feeling down having nice skin can be a big plus in a sea of negatives. The tips and tricks are my personal favorites, easy ways to tackles some of life's more prevalent problems (puffy eyes and dark circles for me! :-P) http://www.naturalskinshop.com/Ginger_s_Tips_Tricks_s/513.html The products are naturally wonderful and they offer a wide variety of products for any need. There store can be found here if you have a specific need you would like to check on: http://www.naturalskinshop.com/ Plus if you sign up with your email you get 15% off your first order! I hope you will all check it out and I promise to write on here more often. J Love Love Jettychan

New Awesome Site for Skin care and health!

There is a great new blog and shop out there that can help you will all your skin needs. I just became a fan and entered in their scavenger hunt. You can become a fan here: http://www.facebook.com/NaturalSkinShop?ref=ts
Natural Skin Shop is hosting a Scavenger Hunt for the next seven days starting today. Make sure to check back each day as there will be a new clue every day. On Monday, June 21, 2010 we will announce a $1000.00 grand prize winner and 3 runners up. This will be a random raffle drawing the more entries you get the better your chances of winning.
So, if you are interested please, become a fan and enter the contest as well. With me planning the benefit I have been entering contests all over the place in the hopes that I can win and donate it to the benefit. It would be fantastic if you all entered as well. Get the word out there. There are some amazing tips on this blog; I particularly like the one about dark circles under the eyes, because I suffer from that very badly. So, if you want to know all the new and awesome information about skin care, make up, and just all around health for your skin, check out the blog: http://www.naturalskinshop.blogspot.com/ It also has a link where you can buy the recommended products and other cool items for your skin! If you want to view the store, check it out here: http://www.naturalskinshop.com/Skin_Peel_s/1.htm
I hope you will all check it out and join me in the hunt! Love Love Jettychan

Apology for being away for so long! Whats goin on you may wonder??

I am sorry I have not written on here in a long while. I have been so very busy with some big things in my life. I have been looking for an agent for the book and it has proved to be a difficult trek. I hope to find another one to queue shortly. I am also adding and updating pages for the website what feels like every day. Although the tags don’t look like it, it takes many days to make those pages, so I do hope you find them handy. I have always thought that my book was unique and that it could help all different kinds of people. It could open eye to an artistic way of looking at a cancer diagnosis and you could read about how staying realistically positive saved my life. However, I guess lots of people write books about cancer and they aren’t exactly best sellers so there is a lot of trepidation to pick up a cancer book, let alone a cancer art book with 89 pages of photos murals! So, I have been working on those two aspects, plus today was my last day, save final day, of my Japanese class I had been sitting in on for a refresher. It is so nice to hear and be forced to speak Japanese again. I truly love that language. I am also planning a cross country move to Seattle (more than likely) and have been struggling to figure out ways to make money, so I decided to sell a majority of my stuff on a Facebook Group here: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&preview&suggest¬e_id=389792114591#!/group.php?gid=116470708364543&ref=ts and I am selling a cool fundraiser for anyone who is in the hospital a lot of travels a lot these little Chemo Pets (custom made and hand sewn!!): http://www.jettysbrainbook.com/Chemopets.html . I am also putting together a HUGE Yound Adult Cancer Awareness Benefit Concert/Silent Auction/raffle where part of the money will go to my 4 favorite groups! It is very daunting though and I find myself spending lots of time on research for it as well! It is going to be hard and going to take a lot of time but with 4 colleges in this area it is so very important that I get some information out to people. So, please forgive me for never writing! :-P I will try and be better but I am trying to keep all the pieces in my life from spiraling out of control! I am almost there, the strings are slowly breaking and I have to struggle to keep them together. If you want to help with my fundraising please click the links above and keep an eye out for the benefit news, I would love if you would spread it out everywhere!! Love Love Jettychan

Cards 4 Cancer and Spirit Jump are THE best ways to pay it forward!

For anyone who knows me, they know I am constantly pushing Spirit Jump. Spirit Jump is THE easiest way to interact and help make someone with cancer’s life a whole lot better. With the smallest gesture comes the biggest rewards, a simple card and a 42 cent stamp can make all the difference in the world. Plus if you want to give more, small presents or care packages it is as easy as filing a box and mailing it. I love doing Spirit Jumps and even when I have no money I still send out cards whenever I can. If you are friends with me and have not heard of Spirit Jump then you have not been paying very good attention. If you want to learn more, which you should, or you or someone you know could use a jump, please check them out: http://spiritjump.blogspot.com/ . So when I heard that Spirit Jump was funding a new annual day to send cards I immediately started getting the word out to my friends, adding links to my page and an event to the book page. However, more pushing is needed to get it to even more people. Card 4 Cancer is a very special day where cards are made or gathered for local cancer centers and hospitals and delivered on April 10 (or around then for centers that are not open). April 10th from now on out is Cards 4 Cancer Day. It is so very easy to participate, and you can join a team already formed or make you own. You can sign up here: http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dDNlemJPbXNwTXo0bjF2MGFxZWg4Tnc6MA. If you would like to me on my team it is called Brain Book Team, we would be glad to have you. We are taking our cards to the Community Cancer Center in Normal, IL
Some general Guidelines from the website are
1- Try to stay away from “Get Well”. Unfortunately some of the recipients of your cards will not get well and this message, while a positive one, can be hard for some. Because we do not know specifically who will receive your cards its a good idea to stay away from any type of “Get Well” messages.
2- “Thinking of You” “Wishing You Well” “You Are In Our Thoughts” “Encouraging You Through Your Battle’ etc…are all great messages to include in your cards.
3- Uplifting quotes are always great
4- Drawings without any message at all work too.
5-Try to stay gender and age neutral as you do not know who will be receiving your cards. However, if you know you are delivering to a childrens center, woman’s center etc….you can be more specific.
6- We ask that you include spiritjump.org somewhere in your card so that people who want to receive more cards know about our services.
7- Hospitals have asked that people not include religious messages in their cards.
8- Hospitals have asked not to store cards in a home where someone smokes cigarettes and that they are kept in a smoke free environment.
If you have any questions or need some more suggestions please email cards4cancer@spiritjump.org
For more information please check out their site: http://cards4cancer.org/
Right now we need as many people to participate as possible to really help as many people as possible. It is that simple. So, please take the time to check it out and sign up. Trust me the feeling you will get, knowing that you are making someone’s day is greater than anything I could ever attempt to explain through a blog. Try it for yourself!
Love Love Jettychan

Average Jetty

For a long time I have known that I am an average person. There is nothing really special about me; I am average at everything I do. I am not great at anything and I am not horribly bad at anything. This may seem strange but it is true. I am an artist but not a great one, I am just average. I love to play sports but I am not great at them. I have always come in second on everything but one thing in my whole life. I have never been the person who excels at everything. I got good grades in school but never valedictorian or even salutatorian. I graduated with honors everywhere I have gone, and would have graduated the Art Institute with a 3.9 GPA if I didn’t have to drop out. The point of this is, I have many skills but nothing sets me apart from the crowd. I am exactly like everyone else. In high school, I was not popular; I have never been the pretty one. I am relatively funny and I can make people laugh but again I am not the funniest person in the room. Contrary to what people who meet me/ know me think, I am not particularly great at anything. I realized this last night as I tried to redraw a character that Fish made for me. My husband Fish is great at everything, he has lots of talent. My only real talent is that I am good with people and I can sell anything. I am quite the salesperson, too bad it has never been my goal to be in sales. I am very outgoing that’s a great trait of mine. So, for the past few years I have come to accept that I am average, I am good at things, I enjoy doing things but I am not great at anything in life. Most people never stop to think about what they are truly good at but I think about it all the time. The reason I think about it all the time is that I am constantly overloading myself with things to do. Things that I feel need to be done no matter what. In fact while I am writing this I am thinking of 10 other things I could be doing. I have paintings stacked up from upwards of 5 years ago, I am constantly collecting things to “do something with them” but they end up in stacks or drawers in my studio. I know one day I will have time to complete them but for now they just sit. I have no job right now, have been unable to find a job that suites my talents (or lack thereof) so I technically have the time right now while I look but alas nothing get finished. I am incredibly organized but overwhelm myself all the time. I wonder if I finish this website and book if I can finally find something I am incredibly good at. For the longest time I thought I was a fair modeler. I can make anything you want. If you asked me to make your favorite place or object, I could do it. However even this I am not good enough at. I have been working at a studio for almost 3 years and yet I still cannot find a job in the art industry. I know when I can clear my mind I will find my one true talent. Where is this coming from you may ask? I have been watching many movies recently, unlike normal movie viewers; I am a fully immersed viewer. Every time I see a preview for Whip It, it makes me want to go skating, I love skating both ice and regular. However, I am not good enough to be on a team or anything like that. I am really good at badminton and pretty good at Volleyball but I would never play on a team. I do not think I would do a team any good. Anyway, I just wanted to write a bit about what I have been thinking of recently. I am completely overwhelmed in areas that are nowhere near my specialty. I am a 3D Modeler not a web designer. I am an artist not a writer. Yay for first blog entries! :-D Love Love Jettychan